Tony: Omnisexual or Demisexual
Steve: Gay (but closeted in his original timeline)
Thor: SEX IS WONDERFUL, IS IT NOT? LET US PARTAKE IN THIS ACT!
liara-shadowsong said: Um… I think you may have intended to type “pansexual” not “demisexual” for Tony, as demisexual is more related to asexual. Although I’ve seen a good fic where he was ace? That being said, I love love love Thor’s part. Because reasons.
Nope, I used exactly the word I intended to use. Or rather, the word I believe. There’s reason I shouldn’t blog when I’m night-stupid, because I never intended to let that bit of head canon out.
I’ve been answering this all day, and I really don’t want to edit my answer, so I’ll just have to explain. 8)
There is something ‘off’ to me about Tony’s relationships and reactions on the movies. He surrounds himself with gorgeous, highly sexualized people, and he treats them with no more consideration, no more attention, than if they were furniture. He doesn’t go after anyone, he doesn’t even glance in their direction unless they are directly in front of him.
He takes what is offered. He leaves before actual human interaction is required.
Playboy, right? Just Disney not wanting to play up the ‘Tony Stark will put his dick in anything’ card, right? Ennui, right?
I chose to interpret it differently. 8)
Look, Tony’s grown up in a competetive, highly male environment. Hard drinking, hard partying, lady killer environment. Boarding school, especially all male boarding school, full of kids as competative, rich, and driven as he is.
Then let’s point out what the environment finds important. What’s the FIRST thing the soldiers at the beginning of IM ask him? ”Is it true you slept with all of Maxim’s cover models?” The man has revolutionized warfare. Robotics. Artificial intelligence. He’s a genius of the first degree, he’s seen things, knows things, and what do they want to know about?
Who he’s put his dick in.
This is important in our society. This is considered a trait of a ‘man’s man.’ But there are plenty of playboys who can have a one night stand, and charm the lady the next morning into a quickie before plying her with excuses of a morning meeting and slipping out with no harm, no foul. The fact that Pepper has clearly had to handle this repeatedly is curious.
My belief is that he desperately craves contact. The Toasterverse is built on the idea that he’s desperate for contact, and lacks the ability to go initiate it. Sex is pleasurable, fast, socially acceptable, in fact society pressures him to do just that. Sex is the contact he can get, but it never works, in the long term, the pleasure comes and goes and then he’s as empty as he was at the beginning.
I believe he’s using sex as a replacement for something else, and it’s not working. That’s why he fixates on Pepper and Rhodey. The affection triggers the desire. 8)
Demisexual, where he only feels sexual attraction where there is an emotional bond, and Ominisexual, where gender is immaterial. 8)
I overthink things a lot.
Anonymous asked:Can I just say that as an asexual person your headcanon about Tony being demisexual literally made my day. People reading characters as demi/ace is so rare, especially when it’s a character that is as sexually active and/or sexually “normal” as Tony. I think you made a really compelling and interesting argument and I’ve totally adopted this as my headcanon as well now.
Ah, I’m so glad to hear that. I’m always wary of sticking my big fat opinion into things that are none of my business.
The important thing, I think this is what needs to be stressed, is that there is a difference between behavior and desire. People do things, people interact in ways that society expects. They do it because of pressure from family, friends, or society. They do things because it’s expected of them, or because they can’t imagine doing anything else.
That doesn’t always mean it’s what they want. 8)
Anonymous asked:As another asexual person I agree with the previous ace anon with all my heart. Your headcanon about Tony being demi made my week and if your fics (and you) wouldn’t already be up in my top favourites they definitely would be now. I wished more writers or people in general would be like you. Just accepting things like asexuality and demisexuality into their normal view of the world and as a reason why people act the way they act.
When I was around eight or nine, my father sat me down and said, “This is important. I want you to listen to me, and believe this. That I love you is not dependent on who you love. No matter who you choose to love, I will always love you.”
At the time, I didn’t really understand what that meant, or why he said it. I didn’t understand the NECESSITY of saying it.
But I believe he meant it, still means it. And if my father, my lapsed Catholic, Air Force vet, construction worker father can say that to his child, then anyone can. If my dad, who never was so good at talking about the important stuff, can frame, so delicately, a acceptance to his daughter, long before it would ever be necessary, then there is no reason the rest of the world can’t just suck it up and let people be who they need to be. Who they are.
Every person who has the bravery to tell their loved ones the truth, every person who accepts a friend or family member at their word, everyone who tries to learn something new, everyone who writes or reads about someone ‘different’ than themselves, makes the world a bit more normal. 8)
decembercat asked:A little while ago, you made a post about your headcanons for the Avengers’ sexualities and you had Tony as either pansexual or demisexual. How would Tony being demisexual that work out, especially considering his rather sordid past?
Because there is a difference between attraction and behavior. People have sex for a lot of reasons, some of them not the best reasons.
It’s like someone who has a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender, then comes to the conclusion that they are gay. They may have been in denial about their attractions. They may have felt pressured by family, society, or religious beliefs to engage in a relationship that was not natural to them. Or at the time when they engaged in that relationship, they wanted that relationship, only to come to the conclusion that it was not in their nature.
Saying, “You can’t be gay/asexual/demisexual/heterosexual because you once engaged IN A PARTICULAR BEHAVIOR” is counter intuitive to human nature. Behavior may indicate attraction, but it is not a defining factor of what is happening in a person’s head.
AN: been thinking a lot about all of this recently, i just needed it somewhere i can find it again easily. (i didnt realise she’d discussed it in so much depth though <3)