What are you doing here?

((headdesk))  

Am I the only one that rewards myself with writing crazy stuff I want to write if I write the things I HAVE NO INTEREST IN WRITING?

Like, sure, get through this hell of a scene where you don’t really know what’s happening, and then you can go have Dummy dye the swimming pool purple or something.

Or, you know, fake husband trope.  That’s a good one.  You haven’t done that one.  Or god help me, more “Steve Rogers puts things in his mouth” mini fics.

One.  More.  Scene.

So yesterday was a rough day.  It happens.  To everyone, I know.  Everyone’s rough day is different from everyone else’s.  But we all have them, the days that don’t work out the way we want, when nothing goes the way we want it to, where nothing we do makes any difference.

Some days are just rough.

But sometimes the antidote to a rough day is a trip to the Lego store, and making a tiny little Coulson to go with your Clint Lego.  And giving him handcuffs.  And finding a chibi Wall-E for your desk.  And a bowl of noodles with a ton of bean sprouts and scallion pancake.  

And the knowledge that for every nasty twit in the world, there’s a hundred people who are just trying to live their lives and do the best they can.  

It’s important to remember that. 8)

I’m trying to get some writing done today, and also answer the long overdue messages in my inbox.  Please forgive me if you’ve written to me recently and not gotten a reply, I’ve had an exhausting week. 8)

maywestaylost:

jadesymb asked:head cannon question. What is the sexual orientation of the Avengers? Tony is Bi, I assume, but what about the rest?

THIS IS JUST MY VIEW.  SORRY IF IT DOES NOT CONFORM TO ANYONE ELSE’S.

Tony: Omnisexual or Demisexual

Steve: Gay (but closeted in his original timeline)

Clint: Bisexual

Coulson: Gay

Bruce: Straight

Natasha: Bisexual

Thor: SEX IS WONDERFUL, IS IT NOT?  LET US PARTAKE IN THIS ACT!

(source)

liara-shadowsong said: Um… I think you may have intended to type “pansexual” not “demisexual” for Tony, as demisexual is more related to asexual. Although I’ve seen a good fic where he was ace? That being said, I love love love Thor’s part. Because reasons.

Nope, I used exactly the word I intended to use.  Or rather, the word I believe.  There’s reason I shouldn’t blog when I’m night-stupid, because I never intended to let that bit of head canon out.

I’ve been answering this all day, and I really don’t want to edit my answer, so I’ll just have to explain. 8)

There is something ‘off’ to me about Tony’s relationships and reactions on the movies.  He surrounds himself with gorgeous, highly sexualized people, and he treats them with no more consideration, no more attention, than if they were furniture.  He doesn’t go after anyone, he doesn’t even glance in their direction unless they are directly in front of him.

He takes what is offered.  He leaves before actual human interaction is required.

Playboy, right?  Just Disney not wanting to play up the ‘Tony Stark will put his dick in anything’ card, right?  Ennui, right?

I chose to interpret it differently. 8)

Look, Tony’s grown up in a competetive, highly male environment.  Hard drinking, hard partying, lady killer environment.  Boarding school, especially all male boarding school, full of kids as competative, rich, and driven as he is.  

Then let’s point out what the environment finds important.  What’s the FIRST thing the soldiers at the beginning of IM ask him?  ”Is it true you slept with all of Maxim’s cover models?”  The man has revolutionized warfare.  Robotics.  Artificial intelligence.  He’s a genius of the first degree, he’s seen things, knows things, and what do they want to know about?

Who he’s put his dick in.

This is important in our society.  This is considered a trait of a ‘man’s man.’  But there are plenty of playboys who can have a one night stand, and charm the lady the next morning into a quickie before plying her with excuses of a morning meeting and slipping out with no harm, no foul.  The fact that Pepper has clearly had to handle this repeatedly is curious.

My belief is that he desperately craves contact.  The Toasterverse is built on the idea that he’s desperate for contact, and lacks the ability to go initiate it.  Sex is pleasurable, fast, socially acceptable, in fact society pressures him to do just that.  Sex is the contact he can get, but it never works, in the long term, the pleasure comes and goes and then he’s as empty as he was at the beginning.

I believe he’s using sex as a replacement for something else, and it’s not working.  That’s why he fixates on Pepper and Rhodey.  The affection triggers the  desire. 8)

Demisexual, where he only feels sexual attraction where there is an emotional bond, and Ominisexual, where gender is immaterial. 8)

I overthink things a lot.

(source)

Anonymous asked:Can I just say that as an asexual person your headcanon about Tony being demisexual literally made my day. People reading characters as demi/ace is so rare, especially when it’s a character that is as sexually active and/or sexually “normal” as Tony. I think you made a really compelling and interesting argument and I’ve totally adopted this as my headcanon as well now.

Ah, I’m so glad to hear that.  I’m always wary of sticking my big fat opinion into things that are none of my business.

The important thing, I think this is what needs to be stressed, is that there is a difference between behavior and desire.  People do things, people interact in ways that society expects.  They do it because of pressure from family, friends, or society.  They do things because it’s expected of them, or because they can’t imagine doing anything else.

That doesn’t always mean it’s what they want. 8)

(source)

Anonymous asked:As another asexual person I agree with the previous ace anon with all my heart. Your headcanon about Tony being demi made my week and if your fics (and you) wouldn’t already be up in my top favourites they definitely would be now. I wished more writers or people in general would be like you. Just accepting things like asexuality and demisexuality into their normal view of the world and as a reason why people act the way they act.

When I was around eight or nine, my father sat me down and said, “This is important.  I want you to listen to me, and believe this.  That I love you is not dependent on who you love.  No matter who you choose to love, I will always love you.”

At the time, I didn’t really understand what that meant, or why he said it.  I didn’t understand the NECESSITY of saying it.  

But I believe he meant it, still means it.  And if my father, my lapsed Catholic, Air Force vet, construction worker father can say that to his child, then anyone can.  If my dad, who never was so good at talking about the important stuff, can frame, so delicately, a acceptance to his daughter, long before it would ever be necessary, then there is no reason the rest of the world can’t just suck it up and let people be who they need to be.  Who they are.

Every person who has the bravery to tell their loved ones the truth, every person who accepts a friend or family member at their word, everyone who tries to learn something new, everyone who writes or reads about someone ‘different’ than themselves, makes the world a bit more normal. 8)

(source)

decembercat asked:A little while ago, you made a post about your headcanons for the Avengers’ sexualities and you had Tony as either pansexual or demisexual. How would Tony being demisexual that work out, especially considering his rather sordid past?

Because there is a difference between attraction and behavior.  People have sex for a lot of reasons, some of them not the best reasons.  

It’s like someone who has a sexual relationship with someone of the opposite gender, then comes to the conclusion that they are gay. They may have been in denial about their attractions.  They may have felt pressured by family, society, or religious beliefs to engage in a relationship that was not natural to them.  Or at the time when they engaged in that relationship, they wanted that relationship, only to come to the conclusion that it was not in their nature.

Saying, “You can’t be gay/asexual/demisexual/heterosexual because you once engaged IN A PARTICULAR BEHAVIOR” is counter intuitive to human nature.  Behavior may indicate attraction, but it is not a defining factor of what is happening in a person’s head.

(source)

AN: been thinking a lot about all of this recently, i just needed it somewhere i can find it again easily. (i didnt realise she’d discussed it in so much depth though <3)

I keep getting questions about this, and someone put it all in one post, so, hey, read my blather about how I write Tony and his sexuality.

I read the ficlet and now i’m giggling like a loon. Really, Steve. It could of been worse. MUCH WORSE. And it will be. This is Dummy. Made by TONY. You are going to miss him running along the ceiling when he hits eighteen, believe me. And now I just have the image of someone trying to kidnap DJ and, if he CAN change at will like I like to believe the hilarity of his captors having a squirming kid one second and the next a hundred pound bot squishing them.

I am impressed that you think anyone trying to kidnap this kid would get that far.  Before being crushed by like, FIFTEEN DIFFERENT WEAPONS OF DOOM.

I figure Dummy stood at the doorway of Stark Tower and went, “Thanks, but I have the internet” and then walked back inside.  He has refused to budge from this position in passing years.  He’s a closely guarded secret, and he’s happy that way.

I’ve written about fifteen pages of teenage Dummy attempting to flirt with a very confused StarkIndustries intern.  He’s not wearing shoes and has a weird security clearance.   Tony shows up and yells that he’s going to lock Dummy in his room for the next month.  The intern’s rather concerned that Dummy’s being held prisoner somewhere in Stark Tower as a sex slave or something.  The fact that Tony threatens to fire her if she talks Dummy again doesn’t really help with this impression.

“Oh my GOD!”

“Hey, welcome home.  How was Russia?”

“Tony, oh my GOD!”

Tony glanced up.  “What?  What’s wrong?” He pulled off his welding shield, tossing it to the work bench as he scrambled off his stool.  “Are you okay, what happened?”

Steve spared him a single, rather disbelieving look.  “Tony, why is my child on the CEILING?”

Tony slumped back against the bench.  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, don’t-  Wait, your child?  YOUR child?  When did he become YOUR child?”

“Around the time when you allowed him to stick himself to the CEILING.” Steve hopped up onto the work bench, smooth and efficient in his movements, even in a wrinkled suit.  “That’s about the time when I realized that you could no longer be trusted with MY CHILD.” He held up his hands.  “C’mon, Dummy, let’s stop breaking the laws of physics now, okay, baby?”

Dummy, sensing that his fun was about to come to an abrupt end, skittered out of reach.  The clunky boots that were stuck firm to his legs made happy metallic clanging noises as he shifted his weight and rocked himself out of reach.  Reading Steve’s face correctly, the little brat giggled.

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I’m going to post this publicly, because I’ve been getting a lot of questions about it!

-Please feel free to write fics based on my fics, draw things based on my fics, post fanworks based on my fics (including fan graphics, fan vids, podfic, tv tropes pages, wikipedia pages, whatever, go nuts)  Please let me know if you do these things, because I am a solitary, awkward creature and sometimes I don’t know how to respond, but I am always deeply grateful that people took the time and made the effort and were inspired by what I did.

-I don’t own or control any of the content/contexts/concepts contained in my fic.  I have created a couple of odd little OCs.  Other than that, you don’t need my permission or approval to write whatever you want.  If you write something based on my stuff, you can feel free to link back to it.

-However, I try to make my fic a safe space.  I have very specific rules that I try to adhere to.  This is for my own complicated headspace, as well as the headspace of others.  I try to make my tags clear and precise, I try to identify potential triggers and clearly note them prior to each chapter in a fic.  I’ve missed some, a time or two, but have always corrected that when people have let me know.

The real world is a harsh and damaging place.  Fandom shouldn’t be.  We have to deal with a lot of bad stuff, a lot of mental baggage and messed up histories when we walk around in this world.  I’d kind of like it to be that for the half hour someone dedicates to reading my fandom stuff, they know that they can relax their guard and read without waiting for something to come bite them when they least expect it.

-I respect and encourage the right of every author to write what he or she needs to write.  I may not agree with the characterization or the setting or the content of a fic, but that is immaterial.  I respect the right of a creator to create, whether to fulfill a need, to deal with personal demons, to statisfy a kink, or just because that is what the writer wants to write.  That is the right of every creator.

-I ask that you not link to my story if you are writing something that diverges greatly from what I am writing, and do not clearly warn the reader of that.  If you are linking from one of my Toasterverse stories because you are using the sentient Roomba army of doom, that is very nice of you.  If you are using the Roombas as thresher like killing machines and your story is full of gore and death, and you do not warn for that clearly up front, in large letters, then please remove the link.  At that point, there is little to no connection between our worlds, and I don’t want my implied safe space to translate to your story.

Okay?  Okay!

Why did you choose the title “weighing of the heart?”

The title is taken from the a part of the ritual described in the Book of the Dead from Ancient Egypt.  It was believed that a deceased person’s heart would be placed on the Scales of Truth and weighed against a feather, typically depicted as an ostrich feather.  Since the good and bad deeds done by the person were recorded in or on their heart, if the scales balanced, then they had lived a virtuous life and would be allowed to pass into the afterlife.  If their heart outweighed the feather, then bad things happened.  Let’s not go into it.

I liked the idea of coming to terms with the good and bad things that a person had done, and with the angel motif, and the importance of feathers throughout the story, the idea of the scales being tipped by the weight of a single feather was appealing to me.

How many marvel people are in this story?

Every named character is a Marvel person.  One unnamed character is as well.  In total, if I’m remembering everyone, there are 20 Marvel characters in the story, including Steve and Tony.  18 are seen.  Two are mentioned.  A Scifigrl47 No-Prize for the first person who can identify them all by first and last name. 8)

And below there be spoilers!

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This show is awesome.  I am rewatching the pilot because I have no idea what’s happening and I DON’T EVEN CARE.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Unusuals-Complete-Series/dp/B0025KVKDO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1371168352&sr=8-2&keywords=the+unusuals

Worth it.  TOTALLY WORTH IT.  If you like sad eyed Renner and ensemble casts and watching scenes of Jeremy Renner in an apron and people being nonsensical, well, then, fifteen bucks well spent.

Do you think Tony would actually commit to marriage or will he always be too guarded to allow that level of trust? Not only for himself but the company and Inventions. Would a prenuptial be involved? What kind of contingency plan would Stark Industries have in place?

Okay, this is just me, and it is just for the stories I’m writing.

I think that the Steve/Tony relationship I’ve set up would end in marriage at some point.  For Steve, that is what happens when you love someone and want to be with them.  That is how things work.  When he was growing up, people simply didn’t live together openly, it wasn’t DONE.  You loved someone, you got married.  Since New York does recognize same sex marriage, I have to assume that in the back of his head it would be there, he wants it.  He wants the acknowledgement.

I don’t think he’d ever push for it, but I think he wants it quite badly on some level.

I suspect that Tony’s parents did not have a particularly happy marriage, for whatever reason.  So Tony’s views on marriage are probably a little different than Steve’s.  Money complicates things, and that is the truth.  I don’t care if a couple is living below the poverty line or are part of the 1%, people fight about money.  People fight about money a lot. 

The hints we’ve gotten about Tony’s childhood (his father’s drinking, the fact that he was sent away to boarding school at a very young age, still having an nanny at 14) makes me think that the Stark household was a bit of a tinderbox and probably contributed to Tony’s skittishness about other people getting too close.

He’s also well aware of his reputation, Steve’s reputation, and just what the press, especially the less savory press, would make of a marriage between them.  I think he’d duck every single conversation about the matter, and Steve, being a man who understands diversionary tactics, would stop making mention of it.

I think that Tony will be the one to propose. I think Steve will be the one to have a prenup written up.  I think they’d fight about that.  I think Steve would win. 

The fantastic Kara made her fan comic Junction available in print, and is going to be making a donation to the Hero Initiative as part of that.

The Hero Initiative (formerly ACTOR) helps comic professionals and comic creators with emergency assistance, support and help with medical bills.  Since many creators work on a freelance basis, or have little or no claim to the work they’ve done under the banner of a comic company, this sort of support is hard to come by.

I’d like to add to Kara’s donation, but because I’m in the midst of planning three con trips (Connecticon, Otakon and DragonCon), it’s not the best month for my bottom line. 8)

So here’s what I’m thinking.  I get a lot of people wanting me to take prompts, which I don’t typically do.  I’ve taken them when the whim takes me, when I’ve put it as part of a contest, or when I’ve dealt with RBB and the like.  So the question is, would people be willing to donate to a registered non-profit in exchange for getting a fic prompt from me?

To reiterate: I will not get any money.  I will not have access to the money.  I do not need anyone’s money!  I would just like to find a way to make our contribution a bit bigger, and, shrug, maybe someone out there wants a prompt badly enough to donate to charity to get it. 8)

IF I did this, there would be stipulations.  I would still be able to limit what I would and would not write.  I would still post it here for everyone to see unless someone wanted to be crazy generous.  I could not promise an exact time frame for completion, but I would set a general guideline to make certain I follow through.  I would set a minimum length.  And I would limit the number of prompts I would take.

That being the case, would anyone be interested?  (muses)

-I still like it, very much.

-I still understand why other people don’t like it.

-I still think that having Pepper do what she did, how she did it, was frickin’ awesome.  I don’t think it detracted from Tony at all.  I think it relieved a burden from him.  He spent that whole movie struggling and fighting alone, and to have, at the end, two of his best friends and longest supporters fighting side by side and back to back with him is the best thing that could’ve happened to him.  It does not diminish a character to have others do things equally heroic.  It does not diminish a character to need help.  It makes the character human.  I like humans.  They make the best characters.

-I still love Jarvis and the bots.  I still love Tony’s relationship with all of his creations.  I still love how he chooses to deal with his demons.

-I still think throwing anything into the goddamn ocean is a dumb way to get rid of it.  Please see Stark, Howard, obsessive submarine use.

-Everyone who bitched me out about my IM3 reaction fic, I stand by my original timeline.  The movie takes place at Christmas.  The final scenes, both in CA and TN, clearly show a late spring landscape.  Grass and weeds have grown up extensively in the cracks on the ground of the Malibu estate.  However that end game went down, whether Tony used certain…  ENHANCEMENTS or not, several months have clearly passed between the events of the movie and the coda.

-Not sure if MCU is becoming fic or if fic is becoming MCU, but I’m still proud of how close I got certain things in my verse based on now established movie canon. 8)

-I screamed “Screw you” at one of the trailers pretty loud.  Twice.  No one else in the theater seemed to notice, and Kate agreed with me, so that’s kind of socially acceptable.  I guess.

For those of you that prefer to read on AO3 and not Tumblr, the next chapter of “Phil Coulson Doesn’t Work for StarkIndustries” has been posted.

You can find it here:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/652230/chapters/1593361

Went to visit my father out on Cape Cod.  Spent two days out there, and have the following reports:

-Certain fics are nearly done.  YAY!

-Putting me, Kate, and Stef in a car and forcing us on a road trip will cause violent amounts of rain.  This is proven.  We will hire ourselves out to drive through your drought stricken region for a nominal fee.

-A blue crab tried to mate with Stef’s foot.  She did not scream or fall over when the crab wrapped its massive claws around her ankle and clung to her like a drunken frat boy.  I would’ve screamed.  I am not kidding.  That thing was huge.  Due to mating stupor, it was very easy to catch them.  They just kind of flailed a bit and fell over.

-We went to Provincetown.  P-Town is the best place to window shop.  And shop shop.  A certain Texan will soon be receiving a piece of art that I bought there.  It is fantastic.  IT IS SO FANTASTIC.

-Some of you, a long time ago, guessed the name of Clint’s bow, and you also live outside of the US.  I have not managed to get to a post office since that contest ended.  I will soon.  And for your patience, you’ll be receiving a handwritten story.  Aren’t you… Lucky.  I’m sure lucky is the right word.

-My cats live!  They are angry that I have been gone for three days!  SO FULL OF RAGE.

-It is 173 days until “Free Hat Full of Potatoes Day!” We are all excited!

vengerturtle said: I have no problem with ppl filling in MCU backstory with 616 stuff cause we don’t know for sure it didn’t happen, but that doesn’t mean your headcanon IS canon because it’s canon in another universe. Dickhole Cap is also canon in another universe so.

I thought we all made a pact to ignore ultimates unless it involved a Spider-Person.

THERE WAS A PACT.

Douchebag Steve sleeping with a married woman, abusive Hank Pym, the twincest, the death and destruction and Tony’s semi-evil brother (okay, maybe not evil, but c’mon, what the hell is Gregory doooooooing most of the time?) and I read X-Men at the time.  Let’s… Not talk about Logan sleeping with teenage Jean, because, you know, CREEPY.

Okay, MCU fans, I think we need to admit a hard truth: We don’t know what Clint is really like in movieverse.

We don’t.

I’m sorry.  We have four or five lines and a couple of tough looks while he’s on the job in Thor.  Those lines are snarky, but in an understated way.  Is this because of the job, because of Coulson, because of the position or the situation?

In Avengers, we have two or three lines before Loki takes control.  They are all spoken to Nick Fury, the head of his agency.  Let me tell you, I talk differently to my CEO than I do to my coworkers, my friends, my family.

Then Loki.  The majority of interactions we see with Clint are under Loki’s control.  Maybe that’s what he’s like in real life, maybe not.  Because we’ve seen a bit of Selvig in Thor, and he acts very different under Loki and the Tessaract’s control.  He’s verbose, manic, almost drunk.  Based on how he reacts in Thor, this isn’t normal behavior for him.

Then Clint is snapped out of Loki’s control by Natasha.  In the wake of a traumatic, vicious, horribly damaging attack, he manages a half-joke, about putting an arrow in Loki’s eye.  Natasha says, “Now you’re sounding more like yourself,” implying perhaps that he is a snarky son of a bitch.  Or maybe she’s just glad he doesn’t sound like he’s going to stab himself in the face, instead of Loki.

So, to recap: We have less than 13 minutes of screen time with Hawkeye in the Avengers (source here: http://www.vulture.com/2012/05/how-much-screen-time-does-each-avenger-get.html ) and a single scene in Thor.

We have 15 minutes of screen time total with the Movieverse version of Hawkeye.  And the vast majority of this is either straight ‘on the job’ or ‘being horribly mind controlled by the villian.’

There is a single scene where he’s intereacting in a personal way with someone.  We get 2 minutes, 40 seconds in the post mind trauma scene with Natasha.  Where the majority of the conversation is two wounded, traumatized, viciously damanged agents do their best not to discuss the things that have been done to them.

So here’s ugly truth time.  When it comes to writing MCU Clint, all of us are making it up.  All of us.  None of us have any idea how Clint acts off the job.  What he does.  How he talks, how he reacts to friends, or lovers, or loved ones, because we have no canon example of it.  Tony and Steve and Thor have had their own movies.  We know them, to an extent.  Their speech patterns, what they consider important, how they react to things.  We know their quirks, we know what they wear, we know some of their personal life.  We’ve seen Tony with the bots, with his cars.  We’ve seen Steve draw.  We’ve seen Thor talk to the Warriors Three and Sif, and Darcy and Jane and Erik and Loki.  Even Natasha, we’ve seen her talk in a less formal manner with Bruce and Steve, Tony and Coulson.

Sure, there are comic tie-ins.  But there’s some weird things to that.  Like one of the pre-Avengers tie-ins having Natasha thinking, “I hate being called Nat,” and then having Clint use that pet name in the movie.  Characters not quite gelling.  Like the writers are straddling the line between comic verse and movie verse and trying to blur the lines.

Clint is a blank slate.  None of us know.  Every interpretation is a fan interpretation, and no one’s, at this point, is any more or less valid than anyone else’s.

Trying to figure out what I’ve written or said that makes someone think I’m the right person to approach with the following fic prompt:

“the Avengers take care of baby Loki!”

I have gently declined to produce a work based on this concept.

turifer:

I accidentally Avengers fanficced. Scifigrl47 asked me which pen Coulson would use, and well, this happened. I’m not sure how.

You can read it over on AO3.

Fountain pens. And superheroes. Why not? (Yes, I actually do have very strong opinions on which pens fictional characters would use, why do you ask?)

GO.  READ.  ENJOY THE CLASSINESS!  And know that there’s a mini fic coming from me about Clint making mistakes with Phil’s pens. 8)

“What do you mean, he’s gone?” Steve asked, through a clenched jaw. He made a distinct effort to relax. “We need some clarification here, Pepper.”

There was a faint sigh over the phone line. “He was supposed to be in for the night at the hotel. There was a fire alarm. He didn’t come out, so they went in. The room was empty.”

“Anyone who’s shocked, raise your hand,” Clint muttered. Natasha gave him a look, which didn’t do anything for the way he was muttering under his breath.

Steve took a deep breath. “Pepper? Does this fire alarm feel particularly unlikely, or is it just me?”

“Unlikely enough that the SI representatives that were still on site immediately contacted the home office.” He heard her sigh over the line. “I can’t get in touch with him, Steve.”

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skyturtle3:

I CAN’T DO THIS

THIS FIC IS TOO AMAZING

I THINK I’M DYING

I LOVE YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH

OH GOOD GOD

I’M LEGIT FUCKING SOBBING RIGHT NOW

THIS IS HOW I DIE

I LOVE THESE CHARACTERS SO MUCH

YOU’RE ALL SO BEAUTIFUL

Fic Here

Best review ever.

I love how all the reaction to the Bucky/Steve shots from the set is basically, “I CAN’T WAIT TO WATCH STEVE SUFFER HORRIBLE, CRIPPLING EMOTIONAL PAIN!”

We are all horrible people.  All of us.