“Agent Barton, if you do not get your ass off of my car in the next three seconds, you will be spending the rest of your life guarding the lobby of a Best Western in Kaukauna, Wisconsin.”
Clint didn’t move. Clint didn’t even bother opening his eyes. ”That is a mighty specific threat, sir,” he said, his voice sleepy and laconic. ”Is there even a Best Western in Kaukauna, Wisconsin?”
“Would I have made the threat if there wasn’t?”
“Touche.” Clint’s lips curled up. ”Does SHIELD own the Best Western in Kaukauna, Wisconsin?”
“Let’s just say the property is often very mysteriously booked. I can’t help but notice that you are still on my car, Agent Barton.”
“That I am, sir.”
“May I ask why?”
Clint pried open one eye. ”Not many places to sunbathe out here in the desert, sir. Lola doesn’t mind.” The sunglasses were removed from Clint’s face, and he grinned up at Phil. ”Hey, there, sir.”
Phil held up the sunglasses. ”Really?”
Clint tucked his hands behind his head. ”I’m sorry, sir?”
Phil waved a hand at him. ”Do you want to explain to me what you’re doing lying on the hood of my car in the middle of nowhere Utah in the middle of the afternoon?”
Clint considered that. ”Sunbathing, sir.”
“You’re supposed to be in Morocco, Barton.”
Clint nodded. ”Nat said she had it.”
“She had it.”
“That’s what she said.”
“And you believed her?”
“It was more that I was sick of being threatened with castration for annoying her,” Clint said. ”Also, I missed you.”
Phil’s mouth opened. Closed. ”Clint…”
“Hey, I’m still dressed!”
Phil rubbed a hand over his face. ”I swear to God, if you scratch that paint-“
Clint patted the car’s hood. ”It’s okay, Lola baby. The bad man is just jealous that you love me best. Don’t you. Don’t you, you just drive so much better for me then him. It’s okay, I still-“
Phil hooked a hand into Clint’s belt and dragged him forward. Clint grinned up at him. ”Hey there, sir.”
“You are a pain in the ass,” Phil said, smiling back.
“I missed the car, sir.”
“Shut up, Clint.”
